When Our Differences Divide Us

I stared at the questionnaire. Really? Why in the world did they need to know all of this very personal information about me? Just seeing the numerous categories made my palms sweaty and my heart accelerate. It was a simple life insurance plan, for goodness’ sake. Whether or not I was a stay-at-home mom or a working mom or a really tired over-caffeinated mom shouldn’t matter. Should it?

But there it was in black and white. Contrasting differences and glaring distinctions.

High school diploma versus college degree. Income amounts. Hobbies. Religious practices. Tattoos. Piercings. Exercise. Diet. Alcohol intake. Any medications beyond supplements. Single, married, widowed. My whole life was being analyzed in multiple choice form.

I finished filling out the paperwork and sat quietly, listening for my name to be called for the lovely next step: blood work. (Exciting, I know.) And as I waited, I began to mentally list all the ways we separate ourselves.

Moms who work. Moms who don’t.

Moms who breastfeed. Moms who bottle feed.

Moms who homeschool. Moms who send their kids to private school. Or Public school.

Moms who went to college. Moms who barely finished high school.

Moms with six-figure incomes. Moms with barely any income at all.

Big family. Small family.

Minivan. Minibus. Car or SUV.

On and on it goes.

From the outside, each of our lives looks a little different. Diverse puzzle pieces belonging to various family puzzles. And yet we are all connected in some way. All glorious images mirroring the Master Creator.

But what we so often forget is although our lives may look dissimilar, we can still support one another. There’s no need for fences or lines or hedges dividing one mom from another. No separate camps or cliques or cool kid clubs.

For we are all moms. And daughters of the King. Givers of life. Sustainers of life. Reflections of the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Our love as sisters in Christ should overshadow any differences. Yes, we need to keep each other accountable. But there is no room for us to say that our way is better. Because different doesn’t mean better. It just means different.

Yes, our everyday may look poles apart, but our hearts beat for the same common goal of raising children who love the Lord. Kids who want to serve Him with their lives. Kids with warrior hearts and kindness on their tongues.

Honestly ladies, our country is already so divided over so many things. Let’s not give it one more reason to disunify. With faith as our anchor, let’s seek to find the common ground and sink our friendship roots in DEEP.

We may be opposite in how things look from the outside, but it doesn’t have to mean we’re on opposing teams.

I think we can all agree that mothering is hard. But it’s a gift too. So let’s do each other a really big ol’ favor and give the gift of harmony. I think you’ll find that it’s a priceless gift. And one that is incredibly contagious.


Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 

– Romans 12:10

Want some extra friendship tools:

Check out Lisa-Jo Baker’s brand new book Never Unfriended.

Listen to The Masterpiece Mom Podcast Episode 31  for the skinny on friendship and differences.

Or read some of our favorite posts on friendship:


Anne-Renee Gumley

Anne-Renee is a full-time mom who works part-time at her family's party store. She has two children who keep her laughing, a husband who keeps her smiling, and an itch for writing that just won't go away.

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  1. Amen! I don’t know where we got the idea that we all need to be the same. It’s important to go outside of our comfort zone as often as possible–what we find will surprise and bless us! Dropping by from Friday Shares at Hope*Writers :).

    • Thanks for stopping by, Anita! Yes, it’s so important to get outside of our own little worlds and comfort zones. Easier said than done though. But when we finally do, blessing and surprise awaits. Love this perspective! Thanks for taking the time to read and reflect. Hugs for your day, fellow hope*writer!

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