All of the sudden, a couple hours after they’d left the house, my five elementary-aged kids popped into my head.
They’d just started at a new school in a new community after we spent a year renting in another area and attending another school. We felt at home there and now we were having to uproot and leave what was familiar once again. Moving from Alaska was one thing, but now a year later having to move across town to another new school was another thing.
I was a bit anxious for them. Some were meeting not only new teachers and classmates, as all kids in school do at the start of a new year, but some of our kiddos were in a whole new environment which can be tricky with special needs and were meeting with a new special education staff too. All without me.
I was so used to having them with me 24/7 all those years of homeschooling in Alaska, that when I remembered they weren’t with me, it was shocking.
“Oh my word, they’re at school. I forgot about them. How could I forget about them? I need to pray.”
And then as quickly as the jolt of remembering they were not with me came, another thought popped into my head: Their well-being doesn’t fully depend on me.
I’m like a gardener. I till the soil, plant the seeds, water, and try to produce the best environment I can, but God does the growing. In this case, He’s the Master care-taker, not me. He is watching, He is tending, He is helping. He loves them more than I ever could.
I used to be stuck in a cycle of constant fear. My fear was mostly centered around the possibility of making the wrong choices and having a million blaming fingers pointing back at me. It would be my fault. I should have protected them better. I should have prayed more. I must have heard God wrong. I should have… should have… should have…
But as I’ve grown as a mom to the kids He’s entrusted to my care, I’ve learned to trust the One who has entrusted. He’s given me wisdom to walk toward what He’s leading us into. I’m steeped in His Word and I’m in close prayer relationship with Him. Therefore, I’m attuned to what He’s said and is saying. I can believe His direction for our family and I believe He’ll see us through.
It’s a trust-fall each time we entrust our kids to others to teach and care for them. Will He catch us? Will He catch them? If He’s led us there, yes He will.
Yes He will.