Before I became a mom, I had these magnificent ideas of how motherhood would look. My days would be filled to overflowing with idyllic and memorable moments – snuggle times, reading books together, and kissing boo-boos. I would be my children’s everything and taking care of them would be a complete and total delight. The end.
But then motherhood emerged, filled to overflowing with dirty diapers, dirty dishes, mess and tears (both for my brand new baby and her sleep-deprived mama). And much to my chagrin, not every moment was picturesque. In fact there were a lot of times I wanted to call Time Out. To hit the pause button on this craziness I thought I knew everything about.
And if I’m being totally honest, I still have those days. Where I feel like I’m going crazy, pulling my hair out trying to put an adult-sized Band-Aid on a child-sized heart.
But you know what? It’s in those flashes of despair and frustration that Jesus reminds me of my need for Him. That I can’t do this thing called motherhood on my own. I need His saving grace and His never-failing never-ending love to cover my blatant inefficiencies and inadequacies.
More often than not, motherhood brings me to my knees in a state of panic and surrender. For these little people depend on me. And I in turn, out of desperation, depend on Him. And this beautiful and complex revolving circle brings me back to where I belong, leaning on the heart of Jesus.
So what does motherhood and Jesus look like for you today?
Maybe it means working on gratitude. Acknowledging God’s goodness in your life and thanking Him by savoring more and complaining less.
Maybe it means a simple act of obedience. Moving forward in faith into what may seem unlikely waters, surrendering your plans for His.
Maybe it means willingness. For God to use you in an unexpected way.
Or faithfulness – staying the course; continuing to love and extend grace where two seconds ago you felt you couldn’t go on.
Perhaps it means patience (with yourself and your kids). Or self-control. Humility. Gentleness. Or the one I’m presently wrestling with, kindness — in my words, my tone, and my oh-so-quick-to-react-and-blowup-before-I-know-the-whole-story tendencies.
Oh sweet mamas. What a gift to be given the opportunity to be emptied of one’s self for the love of another. And as we are emptied of self, we have room to refill and refuel with our Savior. For we have to. We must. It’s our only option to make it through with our motherly sanity in tact.
Like peas and carrots, salt and pepper, or bacon and eggs, motherhood and Jesus were meant to go together.
And we are better moms because of it.
The end (for real).